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I've been pissed over some things that happened to me recently. Before, when i made new friends, there wasn't anything as judging me when meeting for the first time BUT NOW, recently i was being judged. What the heck is this? Out first meetup turned out to be some Pageant Show Audition... i didn't knew that our outing was an audition. *rolls eyes* When you first look at me, you start talking about my hair. The people i met recently said things like, Wow your hair is so thick, its a bit ugly and weird. And you dye your hair brown. Then when i open my mouth to speak, they laugh at my accent. Well you know what, FCK U. You are so narrow minded, what era are we living in now already? Are you still living in the prehistoric age? And then, you make fun of my looks. I am of mixed heritage and that doesn't give you the right to make fun of my looks. YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO JUDGE ANYONE. Be it according to looks, voice, accent etc. Well, you definitely did not leave a good impression to me, to sum it up, YOU ARE A STEREOTYPING FREAK. You were this close to getting your face bashed in, but don't worry i will leave others to do it for me. Next time the people that you meet might not leave you and your pretty talking mouth untouched :) | |||||
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sweat sweat, cuz i'm a poisonous pill
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June 15th, 2011
June 8th, 2011
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3rd ESSAY DONE, TIME FOR SUBMISSION!! | |||||||||
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energeticJune 2nd, 2011
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i am this close to giving up on college but i need to stay strong, i want to stay strong so that no one can laugh at me! screw this shit. is this what i want? i don't wanna waste time and money on something i don't know if it'll be cultivated like a blooming garden. i am so confused, so frustrated. | |||||||||
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frustratedMay 27th, 2011
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OKAY, I M DEAD. I M RUSHING THROUGH MY ASSIGNMENTS. I AM GOING INSANE. DAMN THIS PSYCH SHIT. I'M GONNA BE PSYCHO EVEN BEFORE IT ENDS. | |||||||
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scaredMay 26th, 2011
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| Essay 1: need to start on research Essay 2: Draft is almost complete ^_^ Essay 3: need to start on research after completing the first 2 essays! Gosh, seriously... its a lot of work to be done!! > . < it is driving me crazy!!! but i am proud of myself so far so yea :) haiz, sometimes i feel like distancing myself away from my friends. i hate being able not to know how they really feel about me. I need them to be honest. Oh well... that's definitely hard. | |||||||||
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| One of my friends is turning into some cool kid nowadays, it irritates the heck out of me. And i was the one who introduced to my friend bands and other stuff. And now that friend goes around with that stuff and people actually thought that this friend is cool and shiz. The interests that friend displays out now is a facade, it is actually a shadow of me. It is me, not you. You're turning into a wannabe, a freaking poseur!! You changed so much seriously, and after getting a job and all, you start getting new clothes, new stuff and thanks for showing them off to me. You should know that having a part time job when you're in your teens doesn't really teach you the value of a dollar. You'll tend to spend all on uneccessary stuff instead of saving. You changed and i don't like it, everytime we go out, its as though you're some supermodel showing off and strutting on the runway. Sorry man, i am starting to dislike you. You're becoming a facade, you're not showing others the real you. People change for the better, you unfortunately changed for the worse. I can't stand you anymore, sayonara my friend. | |||||
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Nothing much happened lately, though i caught my sinus attack and it hurt so much. I hate getting this!! Went to the doctor, i took more pills than needed resulting in a slight drug overdose and allergy, so my face had swollen bumps :( yikes! I was so scared that i was gonna die or smthng because i've read that drug overdose could lead to death, Mom was terrified and i was getting dizzy and drowsy from the pills i took earlier. It was around 1.30am, and around 2am Mom and me were on our way to the 24 hour clinic. Got meds to relieve the swollen bumps. I can't believe i caused so much trouble > . < Umma, mianhamnida :( This happened on Wed btw. Haven't been going to college for this week, i am too weak to handle. i'll be on my own when i am on my way to and back from school. Mom is afraid i will faint or smthng... I shall rest for this whole week before going to school next week. too much to handle, college is miserable anyway!! i don't really like it. It just makes me feel so... lonely and boring. sigh... i was so active before until i got sick, like snap snap bam! i'm lying on my bed, with blocked nose and sore throat :( it really sucks i'm slightly better now and i think i might go for Tina's parents teacher conference, i'll go as her Mommy for that night. Mom isn't feeling too well so i'd take her place. And lately i've been getting pissed at a few people. I'm not trying to be mean but some people just need to get some words smacked on their faces and into their brains. And it better stay there. I absolutely hate people who are so pessimistic about life. Yes, everyone has their ups and downs in life, i know i do. But to be miserable and negative towards every new day in your life is just shit man. I cannot take it. I am so sick of hearing their emotional blabber, don't they know that they are also causing others in such a tough situation? When they are down, they affect others, affect the mood with their damn negative thoughts and words. Sometimes i really feel for their friends because they have to tolerate and put up with their friend's shitty outlook in life. I keep telling them to have a positive outlook in life, don't be pessimistic on things. Why would you want to predict something (negative) when it hasn't even happen yet? Don't predict the worse, expect for worse but you'll definitely get better and something positive which you wouldn't expect! I cannot understand how some people can sit and wait for the bad things to happen, i don't think bad things will happen to you unless you keep harping and thinking about it!! Even if something bad happens, face it. Sit through it and handle it. You'll gain something, you'll be stronger. Every single day, you'll keep thinking of the worse to come. I really feel for you. And your friends and family more. Stop using "i'm a sensitive person/ i have low-self esteem etc..." as an excuse. So what if you are sensitive or have low self-esteem? You can actually go out and work it out. You can actually improve yourself, have faith and believe in yourself. You'll get better in life. Don't sit around and gloat and whine about how sensitive or low-self esteem you are. Those things can be worked out. Just start be waking up tomorrow and think positively, smile and say It's okay, i'll make it through, nothing can bring me down. Instead of waking up every day with a "okay here goes, i'm such a failure in life. everyone hates me, i am better off gone. today's gonna suck." Well sucker, EVERYDAY's gonna suck for you if you keep up with that attitude. whoa, i typed a lot... well i am speaking from my mind and heart. Okay toodles!! | |||||||||
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May 20th, 2011
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Just got back from City Hall area! Met up with Mubarak after school, i mean as in his classes. I don't haev classes for this whole week as my lecturers are away for conference! Yipeee! ^___^ tried my very bestest in finishing my research and essay outline. So far only done for one essay, Ap 102 which is my fave topic. As for AP 103, haven't touched... no idea!! and AP 101 is blarghhh >:/ gotta gotta really get my essay outline for Ap 101 and 102 ready by next weeeek!!! > . < driving my mad | |||||||||||||
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relaxedMay 11th, 2011
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| back for lessons this week after my whole week off due to my tummy issues :( Human Dev lessons are all going great so far, never once there was a boring lesson, i really like this chapter a lot :) i don't know why, maybe it's because it is so interesting and we learn about babies!! ^___^ but Intro to Psychology 1 & 2... can be boring... depends on the topics. Like today on intelligence... the part about the different theories are alright but the part on the tests is a little :P blergh~ everyone in class was struggling to keep awake hahahaha, conscious outside, unconscious inside our minds :D i guess it was too much information to handle! System overload and crashed! 2 more classes for this week and then we'll have a whole week off next week as our lecturers will be away for conference and stuff, yipeeee! but thats the opportunity for me to work more on my assignments. 3 Essays to do! Yikessss D: all to be submitted by June! That's less than a month to go!! :( i hope that everything will be fine, i'm actually nervous right now... but when i don't talk about it, i don't feel it... god... anyway, went out with Mubarak on Sunday... we went to Orchard. Got my books at Borders and then we walked around Far East Plaza. Never been there but its really nice! I felt like a tourist hahahaha the stores have nice clothes, not bad.. it was like a High Class Bugis Street heeheee ^ ^ shall go there to shop when i save up my money ka-ching~ i really want to send gifts to TVXQ real bad... but its so hard.... there are a lot of stuff to think about :( | |||||||||||||
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sleepyApril 30th, 2011
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Woke up today with a craving for pasta, and it definitely did not help when i continue reading Kiss An Angel while still in bed, because there's this one part where Alex took Daisy out on a date... and yes... Daisy HAD to order pasta -.- hahahaha, i wanted to have some Italian for tonight's dinner but unfortunately Dad brought us and Uncle Mike and Auntie Hazel to have Western food downstairs at the coffeeshop :( well guess i'll get some pasta next week or so after class if me and Yoo Jung meet up :) thanks to Yoo Jung for always waiting or fetching me from college on some days ^___^ i'm really happy with college right now, Naina and Agnes are really nice! They're the closest people among my classmates, heeheehee And there's something i just want to get off my chest. I am not desperate, i actually enjoy being single. I am being myself and i feel great! well, if love happens, it just happens. i'm not really waiting or expecting anything. But i feel that there are no guys interested in me, i like the thrill of finding out that there are crushes on me and stuff. I like to know if there are guys who actually fancy me, but it seems that there are none! a bit disappointing but its alright too, i mean it doesn't make anything complicated!! :D Met up with Elijah for dinner yesterday, had a good chat and we had Polly perry too. Eli said the yogurt ice cream kind of made him feel sick, awww i guess he isn't the sort for these yogurt stuffs, well actually i noticed that not many guys enjoy these kinds of yogurt stuff :D caught the Prince Will & Kate's royal wedding yesterday... so lovely! i really really reallly miss London! I definitely want to go there again! Its been so long, it's about time to get my bum there! I might be going to Korea at the end of this year with Richie and Yoo Jung :) there's just a lot of things that i want to do! Can i just stop college for a while and travel? hahahaha | |||||||||
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sweat sweat, cuz i'm a poisonous pill
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